security

Looks like the British are the trend-setters in airport scanner stupidity:

Heathrow is investigating claims of inappropriate behaviour after an airport worker allegedly ogled a female colleague who walked through a body scanner.

Police have confirmed a 25-year-old man was given a first instance harassment warning after an incident was reported on March 10.

The Sun reported Jo Margetson had accused a male colleague of making lewd comments about her breasts when she entered the security machine by mistake.

The "full body scanners" are going to end up being more trouble than they're worth. Coming to an airport near you. Hopefully now that the Obama administration is in control, TSA will set a proper tone for the use of these things, rather than the Bush people, who were more than happy to see TSA fail so the jobs would go back to private contractors.

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In 2000, I had my wallet stolen while on a business trip, and I've been paranoid about a repeat of that ever since. What worries me even more than having my wallet stolen is simply losing it, having it fall out of a pocket after hours of squirming in an uncomfortable airline seat.

When I met Kendra Kroll on Da Twittah, I was fascinated by her product, PortaPocket. I was checking the PortaPocket site at the same time Satchmo International (MSY) created a stir when they started to require taxis to all take credit cards. They don't want to pay the processing fees and such, but airports are cashless communities. PortaPocket is living proof of that--look at how little people carry with them. So, when I wrote about the cabbies, I put up a leg shot from PortaPocket. I'm not above such things here. :-)

Kendra appreciated the plug and sent me a basic PortaPocket. My trips to Salt Lake City and Zuerich the last two weeks gave me a chance to really try it out.

What a cool product!  Since I'm not a skirt person, I wore the PortaPocket on my ankle.  I usually wear nylon warmup pants when I'm traveling--no belt, elastic around the hems of each leg.  That made me less paranoid about giving PortaPocket a try. 

But I had no reason to be worried, the strap was nice and secure.  I didn't like wearing the larger pocket on my ankle, but it makes a great protective sleeve for my iPod touch in my backpack. 

When I got to Salt Lake City, I unpacked and was going to put the cards from the PortaPocket back in my regular wallet when I discovered that the velcro from the pouch stuck to the inside of the pocket of my pants.  That settled it for me, the PortaPocket is a winner!  Now I need the big wallet to hold my passport on the overseas trips.

PortaPocket can be purchased at http://www.portapocket.com

DISCLOSURE:  Yes, @PortaPocketGal send me this wallet gratis.  And yes, she calls me "cute." :-)

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I put myself down for teaching a class in Salt Lake City the week after the Super Bowl, because I didn't want to incur the wrath of the thing on high by opting to stay home to see the Saints play in the game. That's mojo I don't need. Of course, it worked out that I was at Armstrong at the crack of dawn to fly away from the best place on earth for at least that day.

Flights from MSY to SLC vanished after the storm, a combination of lack of demand and the cutbacks resulting from Delta's bankruptcy filing. The re-building of both the city and the airline has brought westward flights back to New Orleans. I was getting well and truly tired of flying an hour east, then adding that hour onto the westbound flight. Traffic going west is still low, so Delta is using their Bombardier CRJ-900s, flown by SkyWest, for the SLC runs. In spite of the small planes, I usually get upgraded going to SLC; yes, the CRJ-900 has four rows of three-across first class seats. ( Click Here to view the cabin.) I prefer the "A" seat, which is a single. The overhead bins are still small, so most folks have to gate-check their roll-aboard bags. My backpack fits just fine, however.

SkyWest service used to be iffy, particularly in the busy days prior to 9/11, when the Delta Connection carrier ran a lot of prop planes out of SLC to a number of smaller western airports. The hustle-bustle created a lot of stress and testy cabin crews. These days, things are a bit leisurely, and it looks like only the first string flight attendants get the gigs. It's nice to see a smile on the FA's face when I get my glass of wine.

The flight to SLC is usually uneventful, until you hit the mountains just before the Great Salt Lake. Descent can be a bit bumpy on occasion. This flight was just fine, however. As a hub airport, SLC isn't bad. Transfer from one concourse to another is via moving walkway, and it's not terrible to get around. The SkyClub is roomy and spacious, as you'd expect from a hub.

My return flight was Friday evening. I was fascinated when I checked-in online on Thursday evening when Delta.com gave me the option to send my boarding documents to my phone. Huh? My phone? I've seen such a thing in Europe, where you can SMS-message an order for a bus or trolley ticket in some cities to your phone, then present the on-screen barcode to the scanner on the bus. But for a flight where I have to get past TSA? Hey, what the heck, I figured I can always print when I got to the airport the next day. So, I chose the mobile option and was texted a link to a web page. The page showed my boarding pass with a barcode:

Still skeptical, I made sure my phone was charged up and headed to the airport after lunch. Not knowing what to do, I went to the check-in kiosk like normal and tried to get it to scan that barcode from my phone. The gal babysitting the kiosks saw what I was trying to do and sent me straight to baggage drop. I jokingly told the gate agent I didn't believe TSA was going to let me through with my phone, but she said it was OK.

Upstairs to the security check I went. I handed my drivers' license and phone to the TSA officer. She scanned my phone, reviewed the link on what looked like a customized palm device, and let me go through. At the SkyClub, and at the gate, all I did was hand over my phone, and in I went to both. Wow!

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Newark Liberty International Airport (EWR) (wikimedia commons photo)

The "hub" model of airline operations is commonplace, but it's a double-edged sword from a security perspective. Passengers are screened at the "spoke" airport, but then can roam the hub freely since they're "in the system," ostensibly in what TSA oddly calls the "sterile" area. News that a man entered the "sterile" area at EWR on Saturday raised fifteen kinds of hell as an entire terminal in a hub airport had to be emptied of passengers:

(more after the jump)

A man who caused a security breach at Newark Liberty International Airport, causing major delays and grounding flights for six hours, left about 20 minutes after he walked the wrong way through a security checkpoint, the Transportation Security Administration said Monday.

Someone picking up a passenger told an officer guarding the exit that he thought he saw a man enter through the doors Sunday, TSA spokeswoman Ann Davis said. TSA reviewed surveillance video before sweeping the airport, she said.

A six-hour delay at Continental's big east coast hub is just a mess. As it is, EWR is one of the three major airports serving New York City. Getting in and out of that airspace is ugly on a good day, much less when you have to get long-delayed flights up in the air.

Events like this also have international consequences:

At Oslo's Gardermoen airport, a Continental flight to Newark that was scheduled to leave at 11 a.m. local time was delayed at least six hours. Passengers sat on suitcases and chatted among themselves as they waited in a check-in line that barely moved for one-and-a-half hours.

And unlike my exciting pre-holiday experience courtesy of KLM, this is one the airline can dodge responsibiltiy for. TSA actions are up there with the weather on the list of things that take the airlines off the hook when it comes to compensating passengers for delays.

It's hard to blame TSA for this sort of thing, either. People are stupid, and it's hard to tell the stupid ones from the malicious ones, so you really do have to clean out the terminal.