CPH-AMS-DTW-MSY: The obnixous FA on @Delta 243

9-Sep-2011

• DL9362 CPH-AMS
• DL243 AMS-DTW
• DL2385 DTW-MSY

I had a very short (3-day) class for @HDSAcademy last week, at the Hitachi Data Systems office in Naerum, Denmark (suburban Copenhagen).  I left on Sunday, MSY-MEM-AMS-CPH. The flights out were not bad. I was a bit concerned about getting out of MSY, because of the tropical storm, but a Delta Connection CRJ-200 got us to MEM just fine. The MEM-AMS flight was in Business Elite, a comfy ride. AMS-CPH was an uneventful flight on a KLM B737.

The class was short, but enjoyable. Experienced students always make for a challenge! Like most of my Europe trips, I booked the last night in an airport hotel, for an early flight out the next day. I ditched the car at Avis, and stayed up through the night. A quick walk from the Hilton back across the street and I was on another KLM B737, heading back to Schipohl. 

Three hours at AMS passes faster than you'd think! The first thing which must be accomplished is crossing from the airport's "Euro" space and its "International" space. When going to Scandinavian countries, this is often the only passport check I'll encounter. The "International" section of AMS is a real no-mans-land; to get back to the gates for EU flights, or to exit to The Netherlands, you have to clear passport control again. Of course, the traveler still must clear immigration once they arrive at the destination airport, so it's not like you're really anywhere.

For "nowhere," however, it's quite comfortable! "Holland Boulevard" at AMS is a nice mall of airport shops and duty-free stores.  There's also a nice KLM Crown Club, upstairs. E-mail check, a couple of mimosas, and some shopping resulting in picking up some Droste chocolate to bring home, and it was time to head to the gate on 'E' concourse.

Clearing the sensible Dutch check-in procedures (where they actually talk to passengers) was no problem, leaving me about a 45 minute wait inside the gatehouse. The KLM gate agents were much better about boarding for DL243 on 9-September, following regular Delta procedures. First pre-board, wheelchairs, families with infants, etc. Then Business Elite. I didn't get upgraded for the return flight, so I boarded next with other Sky Priority passengers. What made this flight different is that the KLM agents actually told pushy economy passengers to respect the procedure and wait their turn.

Settling into 15J on the Delta B767-300ER, I let the combination of a sleepless night and the mimosas in the Crown Club take over, and I don't even remember takeoff. I slept through the first beverage service just fine. I heard the hustle-bustle of "chicken or pasta" as the dinner service began, but passed on eating. The Hilton had an "early bird" cold buffet, where I grabbed a sandwich and some juice, and there are decent food places at DTW.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I felt myself shaking! I've been though this before, where a FA will nudge you a little bit, see you're sleeping, then give it up and move along. Now, why was I still being shaken, not stirred? Rolling around from the bulkhead, I see an annoyed-looking redhead and hear, "chicken or pasta?" My reply: "What I'd like is to continue sleeping." Well, that ship sailed momentarily. Her colleague was right behind with the drink cart. When this FA asked if I was going to eat, I told her I was fine with sleeping until her partner shook the ever-lovin' crap out of me. I guess I looked unhappy, because her expression did turn to a bit of an oh-shit at that point. I took a glass of red wine. That, combined with my trusty Tylenol PM, and I did manage to get back to sleep.

As I was nodding off, I head the FA with the drink cart mention to the one what shook me that I was annoyed about it. The first one said, "Oh, I always wake them up."

Huh? I paied $2500 for this round-trip, and I get the crap shaken out of me by a Flight Attendant who gets her jollies from waking up passengers? Oh no, Delta, this is simply not acceptable. I know that some of the folks you employ are control freaks, but I was a-feckin-sleep! Perhaps it's time to include some sensitivity training in your indoctrination of flight attendants.

At least this moron had the good sense to let me sleep through the pizza-and-ice-cream course. I didn't wake up until we were on approach, leaving me just enough time to fill out my landing card. De-planing was efficient; they pulled the jetway up to the second door, and Business Elite bailed out nicely. ICE is usually not as stacked up as at ATL (and it doesn't look like a prison cellblock, either), so I as soon going through TSA. There's a Mexican place that had a perfect view of my gate, so I grabbed a bite and a beer there. That passed the time nicely, and was soon on board DL2385, with a bunch of WHODATs returning from the land of cheese-heads.

Instead of an obnoxious long-haul flight crew, I was greeted by three charming ladies who took excellent care of us. My strategy this flight was to lessen the time on the long flight by flying into DTW. It makes for a 2-hour flight home rather than the 1-hour hop from ATL, but my Diamond status usually gets me upgraded on domestic flights. This one was no exception, so a lovely young lady kept my wine glass filled, brought me a Twix bar and I was a happy camper.

Naturally, I'm not going to judge any airline by the actions of one bad flight attendant, but still, if there's something Delta can do in training that will enable me to get more sleep, I'd be even happier with the airline.